Her body stiffened as the breeze began to pick up. She shivered, but gave me a quick smile.
“It’s so cold!” she said.
“I know right? It’s like it’s wintertime in Canada or something.” She laughed.
Another bad joke. It never made any sense to me: how could I tell the worst jokes and still make her laugh? Not that the jokes were terrible…well maybe they were, but I was much better than that and so was she. She had an aura that you couldn’t touch. It wasn’t that she was fearless, exactly, just not afraid of what the people around her thought. If she was with you then that was that. She made you feel like you really mattered, whether you really did or not. It was revitalizing.
“Aww, look at that.” A muskrat was trotting through the light snow. “He is so cute!”
I watched him hopping merrily along. It amazed me how simple the life of an animal could be. He had mating rituals, sure, but after that, it was settled. Once the choice was made, he kept going, with or without his partner at his side. It didn’t matter if they hated each other for the years to come because they were muskrats, with nothing to lose. They would keep warm, build shelters, get food, have sex, that’s it. Though they lack the ability to communicate verbally, they also lack the ability to argue and disagree with each other over stupid things. What if we couldn’t talk? I bet divorce rates would go down. And why not? If you have someone to keep you company and sleep with, then what else would you need? Without the desire for intellectual fuel, or silly conversation, things get a lot easier. Just you, your wife, some food, and cheap entertainment. Isn’t that the dream?
“Yeah he is, isn’t he? Do you wanna go jumping through the snow? Might be fun.”
“Don’t be silly!” She laughed.
“What, you don’t wanna be a muskrat?”
“Well they are kinda cute, but I don’t think I’d like the tail.”
“I think it’d be cute, on you anyway.”
“You’re a weirdo!!” She hit me playfully on the arm.
“Well I’d be a muskrat too, so it’s not that weird.”
She was very pretty too, no one could deny that. She had wide, blue eyes that sucked you in and left you defenseless. She kept her hair as straight as her posture, which I felt was a side effect of being naturally short. I liked women who were shorter than me, probably to make up for the lack of confidence I felt towards them. Or maybe it was programmed into me, who knows. Either way, she was beautiful, and I was very attracted to her.
“Hold my hand!”
“Alright.” I grabbed her hand and she smiled.
“So what do you want to do after this?”
“I really don’t know.”
“Well…alright, do you wanna grab a drink or something?”
“Yeah sure, why not?”
Again, I watched the muskrat. He was so careless and happy in the snow. He kept on hopping along until eventually he disappeared underneath the walkway. I couldn’t help but feel the desire to follow him right under, living the rest of my life in a peaceful nest out in the wild, away from everything. It wouldn’t be as complicated that way. In the wild, everything was so simple.
“You alright?” she asked.
“Excellent.”
“Alright then.” She let go of my hand and wondered over to where the muskrats had disappeared to.
I stopped walking and instead leaned over the railing of the boardwalk, staring up at the sunset. The clouds rippled waves onto the pink sky that were rolling gently into the night. Closing my eyes, I inhaled deeply, feeling the cold air enter into my lungs. Slowly, I exhaled the warmth through my nose. I could hear her voice behind me, but did not pay attention to her words. I thought only of the open field in my mind, and of the nest underneath the trees. Muskrats were hopping wildly about, not caring for any sense of direction...And I was running alongside them, gusts of air blowing in my face as I stared straight ahead. I could feel the weight of my stress lifting off my shoulders as I continued to run through the empty field. Faster and faster I ran, my body becoming lighter with every step, until I reached the inevitable point of flotation, after which my body started drifting gently up into the pink sky, climbing all the way to the clouds. Riding their waves, I moved swiftly through the air, until I breached the mist of the clouds. There was a slight glitter of light in the distance. I reached out for it when suddenly -
“HEY!!”
My eyes jolted open. The frozen, empty lake was in front of me.
“What the hell was that?”
“What do you mean?”
“You were ignoring me! I was practically screaming at you.”
“Sorry, I must have gotten lost in thought. Hell I might have even dozed off…I’m sorry, what did you say?”
“Jesus, you gotta get some sleep! Anyway…I was talking about the muskrats. You gotta see them! There’s a nest under there, full of babies. He’s a dad, bringing food to them, it was SO cute!”
“Yeah…That is amazing.”
I turned towards her with a smile, grabbed her hand, and gave her a kiss on the lips. We left the muskrats in their shelter and walked hand in hand again. That poor father. His life seemed peaceful in the field, but even he couldn’t escape the clutches of his responsibilities. Day after day, he went out into the wild, hunting for enough food to feed a family of four. He would receive no thanks, nor reward. His wife will grow tire of him as she defends her young. The only thing he had left to look forward to was the day he would retire for good.
“You know I love you, right?”
“Of course I do. I love you too.”
I never looked back at the nest. I just kept walking forward, one hand holding hers, the other touching the ring inside my pocket.